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unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

honestly my dad is such a freak he never says goodnight like a normal person he just says “i’ll be back” and he goes upstairs and when you ask where he is or go looking for him hes asleep and the next morning when you see him he just says “good morning im back’ like what is wrong with him

moxiearien:

cresentmoon2000:

katiaobinger:

the true american experience is wondering if you just heard firecrackers or gunshots

PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A JOKE

bonus points: both are illegal in your state and you still cannot tell

"Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity."
- Simone Weil (via psych-facts)

dutchster:

don’t you hate it when money goes away when you spend it

flowury:

sleepy boys are the best because they have cute messed up hair and squishy tired cheeks and little droopy eyes and are at their most vulnerable making it easier to kill them

uglygirlsclub:

don’t date anyone who isn’t proud of you

imthedad:

I like how pet is also the word for touching your pet